By By the Chronicle Staff

In Bits & Bytes:

Guy 1: So what are you giving up for Lent?

Guy 2: I think I’m gonna try to not bang any girls with boyfriends.

In Dempster:

Guy: I had a chance to get with lesbians, until one of them threw up on my shoes.

On the Unispan:

Girl: Did I drink this weekend? I can’t remember?

In the Student Center:

Girl: I’m very science and math while my sister is very English and social studies. My brother’s aspiration is to go to Nassau and be a gym teacher.

In Davison:

Girl: What is up your a—–e today? You are cranky-pants.

Outside Calkins:

Guy 1: She won’t give me anything any more.

Guy 2: Dude, she’s Asian. Don’t f–k this up.

In Breslin (basement):

Girl: If I stand on the stairs do you think my text will still send?

In the Student Center:

Guy: I visited my girlfriend and her and her friends were bugging out about what it said on the site. But then I checked out Hofstra’s and it said I’m the hottest freshman so I didn’t care!

In class:

Girl: I had an exam at 9 a.m. but I didn’t get home til 3. I couldn’t sleep.

Near Mason:

Guy: I can’t believe it’s not butter. That’s crazy!

In Breslin:

Guy: All the money is in Lol-Cats. All the money.

In Bits & Bytes:

Guy: And then the stripper picked up the dollar bill with her c–t.

In The Chronicle Office:

Guy: You’re really sexy when you eat.