Personal Essay: There’s a shortage of color in my closet

Lily Anzalone / The Hofstra Chronicle

My closet consists mostly of the color black. There’s a bit of red and some super dark green, but it is mostly black: black T-shirts, black sneakers, dark wash jeans and black sweatshirts. Bright colors are an oddity in my eyes, and you will never find me in anything white.

From as early as I can remember, alternative fashion has been something I find interesting. My Pinterest feed is riddled with fashion and makeup inspiration, all centered around unique styles. People online often use “emo” or “goth” as an insult, but I find it to be a compliment.

I haven’t had my natural hair color (which is dark brown) in almost seven years, and at this point I’ve tried every color except yellow and orange.

My middle school “emo phase” consisted of basic band T-shirts, Hot Topic chokers and messy, uneven eyeliner every day. Over time, my closet has grown to incorporate more unique pieces and more black. To put it lightly, the emo phase wasn’t so much a phase but a permanent decision.

Jewelry and accessories are an important part of my personal style, as my collection is a lot larger than many others. I own about 90 rings, and a ridiculous amount of necklaces and earrings. I make a lot of my own jewelry, using random trinkets and charms to curate original and eye-catching pieces.

Part of alternative fashion is the DIY aspect and repurposing what you already have. When my clothes don’t fit anymore, or something rips, I reuse it to create something new and exciting. Many of my shirts that shrank in the dryer have fallen victim to a pair of scissors and a measuring tape. One pair of my fishnets ripped, and instead of throwing it away, I tore it up and reused it as a shawl of sorts underneath a short-sleeved tee.

A simple, but classic staple in my rotation is a pair of oversized ripped jeans, a cropped tee I made myself and my busted, 4-year-old Doc Martens. Add a chunky silver necklace, approximately eight rings and earrings from the clearance rack of Hot Topic, and there’s what I would call the perfect outfit.

But why? Why do I care so much about alternative fashion? Why do I put so much effort into different hair colors and flashy makeup, why do I shop so selectively with my clothing?

Because for me, dressing alternatively and following grunge and gothic styles, is a physical representation of who I am, who I want to be. You could say it’s because of my music taste or my political views, but I am the most confident and feel the best about myself in all black. I can’t imagine wearing other styles or owning clothes in brighter colors, because it is not true to my personality.

Grunge fashion came into popularity in the 1990’s with the rise of grunge music and bands, such as Nirvana and Soundgarden. Much of current grunge fashion can be attributed to Kurt Cobain, bringing to the mainstream striped sweaters, patched up jeans and the idea of men wearing women’s clothes.

Punks, known for their loud music and political opinions, brought DIY to the front of the alternative movements and popularized thrifting.

The 2000’s brought the creation of emo and scene cultures, styles based on emotional lyrics layered on top of harsh instrumentals. Fashion choices associated with these subcultures include skin-tight jeans, knee high converse sneakers, checkered belts and neon fishnets.

So much of alternative fashion is directly tied to their respective subcultures and political ideologies. It is considered a statement, a way to broadcast a message through their clothing and how they present themselves to others. That is what my fashion choices represent – the music tied with alternative subcultures each have their own distinct styles, like goth or metalheads, but there I find it easier to incorporate elements from all styles into my own.

I don’t have a subculture I entirely align with, so I’d rather take inspiration from all kinds of alternative styles and create something new.

Fashion is a choice. Not everyone needs to dress the same, or different, to make a statement about who they are as a person. It is reflective of personality, and of the person you want to be known as.

For me, dressing more grunge, or punk or however you want to call it, shows everyone who I am. Maybe people can figure out what music I listen to on a daily basis, or what beliefs I have about the current state of the world just from the clothes I put on.

Some may look at me and assume bad things about who I am; emo, depressed, a loser, but I don’t see it that way. It is important to me to look original and to find new ways to say something about myself with the way I choose to dress.