By The Chronicle Staff
In Hammer Lab:
Girl: I wish my tits could shoot out bullets. My life would be so much easier that way.
On the Unispan:
Girl: I almost hit a blind person with my car today.
In class:
Professor: Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do NOT blow your talent. If you blow your talent, you’re going to get nailed.
In Cafe on the Quad:
Girl: Is it expresso or espresso?
In Bits n’ Bytes:
Guy: I’m still f–ked up from St. Patrick’s day!
In the Student Center:
Guy 1: Hey, what are you doing?
Guy 2: Just getting something from Nature’s Organic, I hear its good for you!
Guy 1: (Yelling) Yeah, good for your vagina…
In Dempster Hall:
Girl 1: I think he’s cute.
Girl 2: No, he’s so unfortunate looking.
In class:
Professor: Look at me! I’m like 96 years old and I dye my hair black. I feel great about life!
In front of Brower Hall:
Girl: As much as I’m a feminist and s–t, all I want to do is be a housewife.
In the Student Center:
Girl: I’m like so smart and so is my mom. We’re just ditzy.
In Calkins Lab:
Girl 1: Hey, girl!
Girl 2: Hey, boy!
Girl 1: Wait, what?
Outside (during the hail storm):
Guy 1: It’s hailing outside!
Guy 2: (looking up) I know, this is crazy!
Guy 1: Why are you screaming?
Guy 2: Because this hail is so loud!