To say Katy Perry has lost the spark of her star status in the last few years would be a massive understatement. Katy Perry has failed the test of time in more ways than one, turning her kooky, no-filter persona into one that is grating and out of touch, while also producing some of the worst music in the pop scene. After two underperforming albums with “Witness” and “Smile,” fans across the globe felt that Katy Perry had one last chance to redeem herself before officially moving herself into “flop status” for the remainder of her career. I wish I could say we have recaptured the magic of early 2010s Katy Perry with her newest release, “143,” but, unsurprisingly, this is Katy Perry’s worst pop venture yet. 

   “143” is the toxic kiss of death that officially ends Katy Perry’s career as a mainstream pop artist and moves her firmly into legacy-act status. Gone are the days of polished, bubblegum pop; she has moved into an era of dated, grating anti-earworms that make listeners long for the days of cotton candy beaches and campy blue wigs. In short, it’s bad; it’s terrible, even. 

The album opens with an unfortunate attack on the ears of the listener, “WOMAN’S WORLD.” Produced by sexual assailant Dr. Luke, the track regurgitates every stereotypical, unlikable aspect of faux feminism that irritates those who are actually fighting for the rights of women in America. “You better celebrate / ‘cause baby we ain’t goin’ away,” Katy Perry sings. Perhaps it’s time for Katy Perry to go away. 

   After taking a moment to recover, listeners will find the second track, “GIMME GIMME,” a collaboration between Katy Perry and rapper 21 Savage, a forgettable, lyrically weak track placed on top of a generic beat that sounds similar to one generated from Apple’s “GarageBand” feature.

   Following is “GORGEOUS” featuring Kim Petras, a rip-off of 2022’s “Unholy,” followed by “I’M HIS, HE’S MINE” featuring Doechii. Sampling the iconic ‘90s house anthem “Gypsy Woman (She’s Homeless),” the track is one of the few brighter spots on the record. Even though Katy Perry falls flat on her verses, the song is salvaged by Doechii’s catchy flow and willingness to try on the song. Following the track is the set of “CRUSH,” “LIFETIMES” and “ALL THE LOVE,” three dance tracks that essentially blend into each other, becoming hard to distinguish between the three. 

“NIRVANA” also blends in, particularly with “ALL THE LOVE.” On an initial listen, I did not even realize the two were different songs, a statement you could say about 90% of this record, quite honestly.

   Rounding out the 34-minute auditory torture session are tracks “ARTIFICIAL (featuring JID)”, “TRUTH” and “WONDER,” where Katy Perry decides to jump head-first into the mindset of “why not just make every single track the exact same?” “WONDER” is particularly grating, ending the album on an irritating note.

   All in all, “143” leaves listeners longing for the past and feeling like they will never get back those precious 34 minutes of their lives that they spent listening to the soulless project Katy Perry has produced. Why did they sign off on this? What has overtaken Katy Perry’s brain to make her think this is something we wanted? Why is the title of this album a reference that the target audience for this record would not even understand? The world may never know. 

   All they do know is that Katy Perry has taken a blow to her contemporary career path that will surely never allow her to return to her past popularity, but, at the very least, we will always have “Teenage Dream.”