By Marie Haaland
Staff writer
As a part of the Seeking Purpose series, Hofstra invited writer and queer activist Jennifer Finney Boylan to the Cultural Center Theater on Thursday, March 3, to share advice and life lessons drawn from her own experiences as a transgender woman who transitioned when she was 40 years old.
Boylan is the author of 13 books, including “She’s Not There,” the first best selling book by an openly transgender American. She is a college professor, contributor to the “New York Times” op-ed section and is the national co-chair of the board of directors of Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), the LGBT media advocacy organization.
Boylan’s presentation started with her reading a short story she wrote called “In the Early Morning Rain.” The story described how hard it was to be transgender before transitioning.
“I stayed in a motel one night that was officially closed for the season, but which the operator let me stay in for half price,” she said. “I opened my suitcase and put on my bra and some jeans and a blue knit top. I combed my hair out and looked in the mirror and saw a perfectly normal-looking young woman. This is so wrong? I said to myself in the mirror. This is the cause of all the trouble?”
Boylan realized she was a woman from the age of five or six, but felt that living her authentic life came at too high of a price. She met her wife Deedie during college and said being with her was more important than anything else. However the feelings of being trans persisted, and now Boylan had two internal struggles: She was trans and she was keeping a secret from her wife. They were married for 12 years as husband as wife and they are still married today.
For those who weren’t so sure, Boylan covered definitions for some of the common terms under the queer umbrella. However, she explained the difficulty in defining someone’s gender or sexuality, so there are always going to be exceptions.
She also discussed how it is imperative to use someone’s correct pronouns. Graduate public relations student Ashley Zachariah found this part of the presentation especially helpful. “I thought [the pronouns] were really interesting, because it’s really weird how exactly you call someone.”
Boylan focused on more than just issues that affect the trans community. She gave life advice for everyone, no matter what they identify as. When asked what she hoped people could take away from her presentation, she said, “One, I hope people have a better sense of the range of transgender identity. That’s good work to do, but more importantly, that I hope people will find the courage to become themselves, whether they’re trans or gay or cis or anything else.”
“I thought it was just very inspiring,” Zachariah said of the speech overall. “There are different ways you can look at a situation and just the way that she talks about her situation, it was so positive.”
Chad Freeman, the assistant director of intercultural engagement and inclusion, said, “I would hope that they would take away inspiration to be more brave, to be who they are and to open their experiences – open the desire to learn about other people’s experiences and also more empathy towards folks who may have a different identity than themselves. And think about things like privilege and about gender in different ways. I know I’ve been speaking to a couple students who hadn’t thought about gender beyond the cisgender binary and there’s so much more to it.”
Boylan said, “I hope that people will realize that the journey to become yourself isn’t something that happens in a day, or a week, or a month, and it’s a lifelong journey, and it takes courage, but it also takes love, and a sense of humor.”
