Compiled by the Hofstra Chronicle staff
In Breslin:
Professor: It’s not a party unless there’s alcohol and bacon.

In Student Center:
Girl: Don’t bury me with a six pack of Budlight or I’ll haunt your ass.

Outside Liberty Republic:
Girl: Republicans are so 20-late and I’m so 3008.

In Monroe:
Girl 1: He’s old and married!
Girl 2: You can still be horny and married.

On The Unispan:
Guy: I finally know where my classroom is.
Girl: It’s the fourth week of school…

In Roosevelt:
Professor: If you don’t raise your hand, I’ll b— slap you.

Outside Breslin:
Girl 1: It’s so cold. I can’t even think.
Girl 2: Do you even think when it’s not cold?

In Student Center:
Guy: Is there more than one Grumpy Cat?

In Au Bon Pain:
Girl: Why do you think her bag is so big? It’s full of condoms.

Outside Herbert:
Guy 1: I can’t stand these snow         days.
Guy 2: I can. If my professors try and keep me in class until graduation, I’ll just pull the “I pay for this s— card.”

In Breslin:
Professor: You may not leave this room unless your appendix bursts. This room wasn’t designed for going in and out.

We’re always listening……