Compiled by the Hofstra Chronicle staff
In Herbert:
Guy: Chances are you won’t use 99% of the things you learned in here.

Outside Student Center:
Girl 1: What’d you do last night?
Girl 2: I watched Masters of Sex.
Girl 1: You watched porn in your dorm?!

In Monroe:
Guy: It was like I could see into her soul.

Outside Cafe’ On The Quad:
Girl 1: It came to the point where we knew you weren’t coming home.
Girl 2: At least I was quieter this time.

In Student Center:
Girl: Sometimes I listen to old school Pussycat Dolls and I tell myself they’re singing “I want to have boobies” instead of groupies.

In Au Bon Pain:
Girl: Hey look, pinatas!
Guy: Tell me you mean frittatas.

In Bits & Bytes:
Guy 1: I can’t believe the Raiders scored in the first 53 seconds of the game.
Guy 2: But the G-men brought it back, baby.
Guy 1: Baby got back.

In Breslin:
Guy: Are you going home for Thanksgiving?
Girl: No. I thought I’d just stay on campus, dress up as a pilgrim, and cook myself a Thanksgiving feast.

In Adams:
Girl: I can’t believe this professor gave me a D. How about he sucks my D instead?

In Bits & Bytes:
Guy 1: Isn’t this the perfect weather for soup?
Guy 2: Who are you…

Outside Axinn:
Guy: I’m gonna quit cigarettes eventually.
Girl: Yeah, and I’m gonna quit masturbating.

In Adams:
Girl: I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves.
Guy: So shut the f*** up.

In Student Center:
Girl: I see s*** all the time that says “Keep calm and carry on.” I want to just be like, “Give me a Xanax and then I’ll keep calm.

In Breslin:
Girl 1: Is it weird that I’m already thinking about next year’s Halloween costume?
Girl 2: YOLO.

In Au Bon Pain:
Guy: Now that graduation’s only 6 months away, I kind of want to drop out of college altogether.

We’re always listening……