Compiled by the Hofstra Chronicle staff
In Brower:
Girl 1: Do you think he’ll ask you to be his Valentine?
Girl 2: What are we, five? Is he going to deliver me a handmade card and some chocolates in my homemade mailbox too?

In Breslin:
Guy: We have off all next week, right?
Girl: No, ass. That was in high school.

In Student Center:
Girl: Did you know some people don’t just starve themselves? Crazy bitches chew their food and then spit it out.

In Monroe:
Guy 1: Maybe I’ll throw flower petals on the floor, grab my guitar, and serenade her naked.
Guy 2: Didn’t you ever see Valentine’s Day? Some guy did that. He ended up stepping on a thorn, seeing her mom, and not getting laid.

In Mack Center:
Girl: So we’re both single.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: And we don’t have plans on Valentine’s Day.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So….want to get f***ed up at McHebes?

Outside Au Bon Pain:
Girl: I think yogurt parfaits are so romantic. Especially when they’re made with strawberries and honey.

In Cafe’ On The Quad:
Girl 1: I wish there was a chocolate covered strawberry latte.
Girl 2: I’m sure we can just spike a latte with chocolate covered strawberry vodka.

Outside Bill Of Rights:
Girl: I don’t know why we’re celebrating dead Presidents who screwed up our country. But if we have off, I’ll drink to them all weekend.

In Davison:
Guy: I’ll never understand why analyzing a book is interesting.

In Student Center:
Girl 1: So what should we have today? Overpriced faux Chipotle, Starbucks, or Panda Express?
Girl 2: Hey, there’s always actual Sbarro.
Girl: Still overpriced.

In Axinn:
Girl: Can you believe there’s only like 96 days until graduation?
Guy: If you think that’s gonna help me get through this paper, you’re wrong.

In Herbert:
Guy: Do they ever turn the f***ing heat on in this place?

In Bits & Bytes:
Girl: Do you think I can lose 15 pounds by Spring Break?
Guy: Not if you keep eating that burger…

We’re always listening……